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Monday, December 2, 2013

Kardashian Christmas Card Leaves (Most of) the Boys Out



Behold ... the latest Kardashian Christmas card. (David LaChapelle)
'Tis the season to celebrate — because the highly anticipated Kardashian Christmas card is here. Debuted on "Keeping Up With the Kardashians: A Very Merry Christmas" special, which aired on Sunday, the snapshot was distinctly more high fashion and notably less … how should we put this … inclusive than in the past.
Snapped by famed photog David LaChapelle, the image is reminiscent of a ransacked carnival, packed with everything from a hot pink staircase covered in graffiti to a burnt-out dollar sign to disassembled gold mannequins to broken games featuring the family members' faces to what appears to be a few abandoned movie theater seats (the kind you would never, ever want to sit in).
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Kim showed off her post-baby bod, but no baby or Kanye. (David LaChapelle)
But while the glitz and glam are in full effect, there are still a few notable things missing — namely the men. Other than Kourtney's son Mason (who is unfortunately draped over that nasty movie theater seat), the only other man in any of the ladies' lives who made the Christmas card cut was Kris's estranged husband, Bruce Jenner.
And while he does appear in the photo, he is literally trapped inside a glass tube labeled "Cashier." That said, it's probably worth noting that his old Wheaties box does get to make a cameo, even if it is partially covered by Kendall's showcased gams.
But where are Kourtney's baby daddy Scott Disick, Kim's fiancé/baby daddy Kanye West, Khloé's husband Lamar Odom, and Kris's son Rob Kardashian? (Also, baby North is left out, but she's probably too young to care yet.)
While we can understand Lamar might not be included depending on when this image was shot — and whether he and Khloé are actually patching things up or not — it seems rather strange to omit the others.
Poor Bruce was the only significant other to make the cut, but it's nothing to brag about. (David LaChapelle)
Scott has been a staple on the show for ages now and provides a never-ending source of drama for their highly rated TV show. And Kanye seems to have integrated smoothly into the Kardashian web, having appeared on Kris Jenner's now-defunct talk show and orchestrating one of the most dramatic proposals in history. And … umm … that guy Rob? Isn't he like, their biological brother? Unless he was off doing important missionary work (and something tells us he wasn’t) why would he not be included in what is labeled as the "family" holiday photo?
If it is stinging the other men, maybe they can find some solace in the fact that Bruce wasn't really supposed to be in it either. On the show, when it was explained that the card would only feature the Kardashian women (and Mason), Bruce spoke up.
"I think that's a terrible decision," he lamented. "It's your mom's and my Christmas card!" (Wait: Just because it's his Christmas card, he thinks he should be in it?)
When Kris realized she might have hurt Bruce's feelings by leaving him out, she invited him to be a part of it. How sweet.
Something about the crumbling carnival theme seems eerily appropriate indeed.

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